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More Jokes

 

Why did the chicken laugh? It heard an egg-cellent yolk.

 

 

 

 

 

Which spiders are the coolest?

The ones with their own websites

 

Which bird is always out of breath?

A puffin

 

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh

 

Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride

 

Two snails robbed a tortoise. The policewoman asked them "Can you descibe the thieves?"

"No" said the tortoise, "it all happened so quickly"

 

What can happen when it's raining cats and dogs?

You might step in a poodle

 

What type of shoes do frogs wear?

Open-toad

 

What do you give a sick bird?

Medical tweet-ment

 

What do snakes like to study in school?

Hisssss-tory

 

What did the frog order at McDonalds?

French Flies and a diet Croak

 

Where does an otter put his money?

In the river bank

 

How does a train eat?

Chew Chew

 

If you are American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?

European

 

Why did the kid put candles on the toilet?

He wanted to have a birthday potty

 

Why do seagulls live by the sea?

If they lived by the bay they would be bagels

 

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Pizza

Pizza who?

Pizza Poo!

 

Fred: Someone said you look like an owl

Joe: Who?

 

What did the dog say when the girl told him a sad story?

Rough

 

What kind of nuts always have a cold?

Cashews

 

What do you call a tree that doesn't know the answer?

Stumped

 

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9

 

What instrument can you find in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste

 

What do you call cheese that's not yours?

Nacho cheese!

 

What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet

 

How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it

 

1-1 was a racehorse

and 2-2 was one too

1-1 won a race one day

and 2-2 won one too

 

Why was the mushroom the most popular guy at the party?

Because he was a fungi

 

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Cows go.

Cows go who?

No, silly. Cows go moo.

 

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Loud, interrupting, squawking parrot.

Loud, interrupting squawking p-

SQUAAAAWKKK

 

What do you call a dinosaur playing hide-and-go-seek?

Doyouthinkhesaurus

 

What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?

An udder failure

 

What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the courtroom?

Odour in the court!

 

Why is a fish easy to weigh?

Because it has it's own scales

 

Why did the turkey cross the road?

To prove he wasn't chicken

 

What is out of bounds?

An exhausted kangaroo

 

Why didn't the boy believe the tiger?

He thought it was lion

 

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?

"Where's popcorn?"

 

How do you organise a space party?

You planet

 

Why couldn't the pony sing?

He was a little hoarse

 

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honey combs

 

Which hand is better to write with?

Neither, it's better to use a pen

 

Why do dragons sleep during the day?

So they can fight knights

 

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for the fresh prints

 

I went to an emotional wedding the other day.

Even the cake was in tiers

 

What do space cows say?

Moooooooon

 

Why did the mommy chicken cross the road?

To get to the mother side

 

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke?

He won the no bell prize

 

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Smellmop

Smellmop who?

No!

 

Where do you take a sick boat?

To the dock

 

What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?

When a golfer makes a mistake, he goes whack, "darn", but when a skydiver makes a mistake he goes "darn," whack

 

Two fish were in a tank.

One said, "you man the guns and I'll drive"

What do chickens listen to to relax?

Bach

 

Why did the picture go to jail?

Because it was framed

 

Why did the bicycle fall over?

Because it was two-tired

 

What did the elevator say when he felt sick?

I think I'm coming down with something

 

Why don't you starve in the desert?

Because all the sandwiches there

 

What is a twin's favourite food?

Pears

 

Where did the chef leave his car keys?

In the cook-key jar

 

Why was the computer cold?

It left it's Windows open

 

When does a teacher need a bird feeder?

When there a parrot-teacher conference

 

What did the sick chicken say?

Oh no! I have the people pox!

 

What do you call a funny chicken?

A comedi-hen

 

How do rabbits travel?

By hare plane

 

What music do rabbits listen to?

Hip-hop

 

How do you tell which rabbits are getting old?

Look for grey hares

 

Who stole the soap from the bathtub?

The robber ducky!

 

What wears glass slippers and weighs 4000 pounds?

Cinderelephant

 

What do you call a horse that lives next door?

A neigh-bor

 

What do dinosaurs use to cut wood?

A dino-saw

 

What do you call a crate full of ducks?

A box of quackers

 

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

A dino-snore

 

What do you call a magic dinosaur?

A dino-sorcerer

 

What does a tricerotops sit on?

It's tricero-bottom

 

Why can't a leopard hide?

Because he's always spotted

 

Where do kittens go on a feild trip?

To the meow-seum

 

What do you call a snake that eats pies?

A python

 

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

 

Did you know that cat jokes freak meowt?

Seriously, I'm not kitten

 

Have you seen the movie "Constipation"?

It hasn't come out yet

 

Did you hear about the hairdresser?

She dyed

 

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

It wanted to get to the bottom

 

Why are strawberries afraid of cars?

Because they hate traffic jams

 

Where do boats go when they get sick?

The dock

 

What if you asked a tree what is 1+1?

It wooden know the answer

 

What if you asked it what is 1+2?

Tree

 

What did the mouth say to the eyes?

Who nose?

 

What do you call an underwater Transformer?

Octopus Prime

 

Knock Knock

Who's there?

A little old lady.

A little old lady who?

I didn't know you could yodel

 

Where do sheep go on vacation?

To the Baa-hamas

 

Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot!

 

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Owls say.

Owls say who?

Yes. Yes they do.

 

Did you hear the sad news about the Italian chef?

He pasta way

 

What's a soldier's least favourite month?

March

 

What is Barbie's favourite store to shop at?

The doll-hair store

 

What did the snowman say during a game of hide-and seek?

Icy-you

 

What did the spinkler say to the grass?

Hose it going?

 

Why was the broom late?

It over-swept

 

Why did they let the chicken join the band?

Because it had the drumsticks

 

Why didn't the rooster cock-a-doodle-do?

It was mourning

 

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plane bagel

 

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea

 

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his feild

 

If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?

 

Want to hear a joke about pizza?

Nevermind, it's too cheesy.

 

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Olive Toop

Olive Toop who?

Ew

 

 

Have a joke or two for me? Send them by email to dylan@greatcampgames.ca (put Jokes in the subject line)