Even More Jokes
People used to laugh at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, nobody's laughing now.
Knock Knock Who's there? Amish Amish who? Really? You don't look like a shoe
Knock Knock Who's there? Ya Ya who? No, I prefer Google
What does a house wear? Address
I told a chemistry joke once. There was no reaction
Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
How to fall down stairs: Step 1 Step 2 Step 4 Step 7 Step 13 Step 22
What do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows
Knock Knock Who's there? Beets Beets who? Beats me
What do young kittens wear? Dia-purrs
How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? You rocket
I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like: O Mg
How can you tell the difference between a dog and a tree? Their bark
How do snails call their friends? On their shell-phones
What do you call an anxious toad? A worry wart
What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon-aid
Knock Knock Who's there? Mark Mark who? Polo
Why was the mother firefly unhappy? Because here children weren't very bright
How do you make a milkshake? Take it to a scary movie
How do you get straight A's? Use a ruler
What building has the most stories? The library
How do you measure a snake? In metres, not feet
What does a T-rex say when it makes a mistake? Dino-sorry
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Bee-hive yourself!
What does a confused bee say? To bee or not to bee
What did the bee say on the hot day? Swarm, isn't it?
What do you call a bee born in May? A May-bee
What's the best thing about elevator jokes? They work on so many levels
Lightbulb jokes suck. Most people have no idea watt they're talking about.
What do you call a computer that sings? Adele | What does the dentist of the year get? A little plaque
Knock Knock Who's there? Cash Cash who? No thanks, I'm allergic to nuts
Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them
Why does Humpty Dumpty like autumn? Because he had a great fall
Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? Doctor Who is here???
Why doe humming birds hum? Because they don't know the words
How do you count cows? With a cowculator
Knock Knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes the police! Come out with your hands in the air!
Why should you never use a dull pencil? Because it's pointless
Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side
Why is "dark" spelled with a "k" and not a "c"? Because you can't "c" in the dark
Why do Norwegian naval ships have barcodes on the side of them? So that when they come into port they can Scandinavian
Knock Knock Who's there? You You who? I'm still here
How do trees feel in spring? Re-leaved
Why were the cows scared? Because they were a cow-herd
What do you call an alien with three eyes? An Aliiien
What do you do with an old bike? Re-cycle it
How much room is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible
What do dentist call their X-rays? Tooth-pics
Knock Knock Who's there? Chooch Chooch who? I like trains too
A dung beetle walks into a bar. "Is this stool taken?"
How do trees feel in spring? Re-leaved
What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? "Put it on my bill"
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's okay, he woke up
What happened to the guy who got hit in the head with a can of Coke? He was fine; it was a soft drink
Why did the blind man fall in a well? He couldn't see that well
What bee is good for your health? Vitamin Bee
What did one nut say to the other? I'm a cashew!
I asked a french kid if he played video games. He said "Wii"
I just broke my guitar. It's okay. I won't fret.
I'm glad that I know sign language, it's pretty handy.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was excellent!
What kind of reptiles can you still see in winter? A blizzard |
Have a joke or two for me? Send them by email to dylan@greatcampgames.ca (put Jokes in the subject line)